I love the candles I’ve been making, Apparently other people don’t love them as much. I sent posts to my candle-making groups, and They don’t make it; they get delete it along the way. That makes me sad, it means I’m a Black sheep again. It looks like being different is expensive. Not in money, I mean, but in life. It kind of hurts, but it’s my life and I want to make these candles. At least they haven’t booted me to the curb yet, I can still look through their posts And get some ideas and learn more. I just watch what I say so they don’t delete it again.
I wanna tell you about what happened in my life that explains some of the things I’m living now. When I was very little, Some of the conversations, I remember with my mom tell on me. I was raised Catholic and my mom’s family were very strict Catholics. When I was around Five years old, I started questioning their teachings. My mom said it was good to ask questions, And she tried to answer them as best she could. I started going to school and San Diego, California, I believe the American flag was my flag. I believed that is where I belonged.
My mom died when I was in sixth grade, And her family came to take me to the middle of Mexico. It was a beautiful place, but I didn’t fit there. They put me in high school, where I was lost. I didn’t know enough Spanish to read a textbook. I didn’t dress the way they wanted. They said shorts are for small children, so no shorts. I had to try to fit in. I had to do things their way. My mom had given me the freedom to be myself. (Within reason, of course)
When I was 16, I had finished my high school and a quick course on how to become a kindergarten teacher’s aid. I was hired right away, As a kindergarten teacher. My guess is, that the place that hired me wanted to save money, and hired me when I was still 16. I didn’t last, I quit and I got a better job. The lady I was working for a perfect fit. She let me be myself, she let me Creative. I started as a receptionist and eventually, she let me run her office. The employees were upset because I was younger than them. They complained to her, but she told them that I was doing the Jon very well, and that’s why she had me there. She told them needed to just stop complaining , focus on their job, or leave.
Anyways, this was pointing to the part where I run away from home at 18. So I got married at 19, That was a bad decision, very bad decision. I spent 10 years stuck in it, Just trying to make it. I wasn’t able to have friends, I was always at work.
So at 30 I joined the US Army. I met a beautiful man that became my husband in 2001. I love more than anything in the world. The thing is, it’s his first marriage, And he feels to me like it’s my first, because I started learning from the bottom. I feel like I started over, There’s a lot of things I didn’t know and I’m learning. I’m getting to a point, I promise.
I have a job that I like, and it’s like an anchor, I feel comfortable in it. But I always wanted to build my own business since I Was 18. When I was working at the job, I already told you about, I ended up managing, mostly organizing the office. And then my boss offered for me to run the bed-and-breakfast. I loved it. I wanted to make it, and I wanted to make it my own. And then Life took a sharp turn, I took a different road. Felt wonderful to do your own thing, Make your own own job.
A few years ago, I started making soaps and lotions and body oils and lip balm, Foot scrubs. Unfortunately, I never pushed it enough to get it going. Last year I started again, and I figured this time I should push a little more. I think it’s Finally, taking off. That’s scary and exciting.
This past week I went to request a business license. I felt like I was still a child stumbling through adults processes. I tried my best to be self-assured, And look like a responsible adult. When I applied, The gentleman at the window asked me who the homeowner is, because I said I was going be working for my home. I said I was, but he didn’t believe me. He says as a process he’s going to check it out. I said go ahead. Unfortunately, the mobile home park shows up as the owner of that address. I told him yes, because it’s a mobile home and it’s sitting on their ground. He asked me to go get the paperwork for the property so he can see that my name is on it. I went home and I got Property tax bill. It has my name and my husband, Dwight’s name on it. So yesterday I had to take him with me, so he could also sign that he gives permission to run my business for my home. They neglected to tell me that they wouldn’t take applications after 4 o’clock, because they wouldn’t be able to process it before closing time. So we have to be back next week.
I guess all I wanted to say is that I feel I’ve come a long way. Now that I got another post deleted in a candle-making group, It’s a reminder that I’m alone and I’m still the black sheep. Maybe that should be the name of my company!
I want to add, I have a wonderful spirit guide that has helped me all along. I didn’t know about it until a few years ago I guess I always suspected somebody was watching over me. It’s been years since this guardian has been giving me answers, and finding things for me. Protecting me And guiding me. I feel like it’s an angel right behind me. So this, and the encouragement and support of my husband, My significant other, And my friends. (I suspect most of my friends are black sheep as well). I think we make a good crowd
